We have learned how to make a harmony with people during the conversation.
Before we start talking, we think those in a second:
Does my talking have an appropriate topic and words in this situation and atmosphere?
How long and how deep can I keep talking not the others get bored and feel bad?
Can I show my emotion and passion here? Isn't is too much for the others?
Then, we decide
OK, AFTER he finish his talking, I will start my talking.
Yes, you are correct. Listen to the others first is common sense.
But, listen, your way may not always work in the world.
Because a lot of people, you cannot imagine how many,
don't care anything you concern as above.
They don't think it is rude that they don't listen to the others
and just talk as much as they want in THEIR OWN TIMING!!!
Plus, they apparently show their attitude, like
"I am not interested in your talking, and do not need to listen to you, I wanna talk" .
I know, you cannot believe my saying. Rude, yes especially in "Japanese Culture".
You must get hurt when you face this fact, but it happens a lot.
For example, if you are in the classroom, you can see the scene frequently.
Professor ".....and ......., so......"
Student A "But in my experience...(5min talking)...and..."
Professor "Ok, thank you for your comment. Let's go to nex..."
Student A "And then professor, .....(2min talking)"
Other students are bored.
We want lectures, not your personal comments.
Another case is like this.
(You want to listen to A's idea)
Student A ".....and .....that's wh.."
(You tried to give comment AFTER his talking)
Student B "Yeah, I also did it and....."
(B started talking before A finish it)
Student C "Right, I can...."
(C joined B's talking)
Student A "Hmm, anyway, I wanted to sa.."
(You started expecting to listen to A again)
Student B "Oh, do you know this? This is a..."
(B cut it again with another topic)
Student C "I know! Is it a...."
(C move it further)
You never have chance to get A's whole idea
nor your turn to talk!!!!
It happens not only in class but also in daily conversation.
Don't wait your turn, it never come among those people.
You should show your attitude to them clearly,
cut their conversation if you need, and start talking what you want.
Yes, it is rude, but it is necessary for you to show your existence.
Otherwise, the topic goes to another.
If you didn't do that, they would think you are dull
and not interested in participation of the conversation.
I realize Japanese who live here for a long time seem to know it
and have changed their way on purpose to adapt to those situation.
Means, they sometimes don't read the atmosphere as well as normal Japanese do.
I'm still on the way to have the skill. So hard to ignore our cultural beauty.
